The Art of the College Hustle

Being in campus is a fun experience but as with all things, has a down side... finances! peeps get lets call them creative ways of making ends meet, getting that extra shilling has become an art.. most of them very questionable! lemme share a few of the more interesting ways i came across;
The peddler
This is your everyday drunkard living on a shoe string budget, this is the guy you will find drunk more often than not! he has perfected the hundred shilling rave down to an art, can push a whole friday night with a single bottle of napoleon or some equally cheap brew. if push comes to shove, he has no quualms about going traditional, or even the nguzo way..
Defining characteristics

• Usually move about in a pack of three or more and are perpetually high on something, 8 days a week
• Higher than a kite at any given moment, a case of too much blood in their alcohol, i mean if a vampire were to take a bite outnof em it would qualify as a bloody mary!
• Make for very interesting company, that is if you can stand the noxious fumes..

Sources of funding
Will sell anything for a quick shilling and i do mean anything even the shirt of his back if you are paying. definately not the best person to make a regular in your room as personal effects will find their way out never to be seen again!!
The Social Event ho'
Could be sitting next to you at this very moment and you wouldnt even know it..
Has an uncanny ability to blend into the wall, the moment he/she hears of  a school trip be it rugby, football, drama, choir catholic even muslim event, they will be there in full swing. they will even pop up in your class trip though they may be a class ahead or of an unrelated cost! should any allowance event pop up and she will be there faster than you can say allowance../
Defining characteristics
your average fourth year falls squarely into this category, the moment they realize campus life is in its twilight they try to postpone the reality of life in whatever way they can.
Sources of funding
her allowance, your allowance, the games tutor's allowance! she will allow you to spend it all on her..
i think you get the drift here, rarely touches her allowance though
The classic Gold-Digger
I aint saying she a gold-digger she got needs... you know the rest! she is highly intelligent, knows what she wants, where it is and how to get it. she is that stunning mama you see around campus, happy go lucky, living the life few can afford..
Defining characteristics
Drop dead gorgeous, witty and charming. You'll see her stringing along a campus chap or two (poor bastard). You see that girl living the champagne life on a beer salary? yeah, thats her, and sadly enough she is not restricted to campus dudes!
Sources of funding

• She has a direct line to your father's pocket, will drain you dry without as much as a moments notice.
• She is in and out so fast you wont even know what hit you..

• she has men twice her age clamouring for her attention, you cant fail to notice the  different cars picking her from school on any given friday.
• You better have really deep pockets if you are planning on darting her...

Mtalii
This is an unrefined version of the gold digger, brutal and direct. if you are buying, she is game for anything..
has no qualms about who finds out her business as long as she is happy, qualifies as the campus blonde as well.
Defining Characteristics
Good to go, anytime anywhere, your basic chips funga material, but be warned, you;ll wind up doing her shopping and sharing her with a circle of middle aged businessman. will more than not bring along a friend to help her enjoy the plenty... Is a fun girl but its a well trodden path.
She is the kind that when you take out will end up ordering the priciest thing on the menu, she doesn't have to know what escargo is but trust me, she will order it...
Sources of funding
She is highly diversified, will take up just about anything there is!
the college boy, the peddler, your shopkeeper, the cafeteria guy, half your lecturers.. you get the drift!
requires less maintainance than the gold digger.. not too bright...
And that's The Guru's take for now..